While You Were “Working” (August 6th, 2008)
Here’s some stuff that happened while you were “working”:
- China has denied visas to several former Olympians because of their ties to activism on behalf of Darfur. The US Olympics squad, in a kind of retort, chose Lopez Lomong, a former Sudanese refugee, to carry the US flag during the opening ceremony. Here’s a suggestion for a more effective response: STOP HOLDING OLYMPICS IN TOTALITARIAN STATES! Kthxbai.
- The National Enquirer published photos that purport to show John Edwards holding up his love-child inside a Beverly Hilton hotel room. The fuzzy “spy photo” is not entirely convincing, but since I couldn’t possibly care less if Edwards fathered every single child in America, waited eighteen years, and then fathered every single grandchild, let’s just say it’s him and move the fuck on.
- The terrorists responsible for the 2002 Bali bombings that killed over 200 people and injured 200 more are asking for a different method of execution because they consider Indonesia’s current method, death by firing squad, to be inhumane. The is a true story that really happened. For real.
- Kuwait is planning to build an international rail network that will link Israel to China through such Jew-friendly, peace-loving locales as Damascus, Baghdad, and Tehran. In other news, the San Diego zoo is reporting that Keeba, one of three female unicorns on loan from Happy Gumdrop Fairyland, gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby rainbow.
- There was a coup in Mauritania. So your day could have technically been worse.
