While You Were “Working” (August 5th, 2008)
Here’s some stuff that happened while you were “working”:
- NASA found a toxin in the soil on Mars that might make the environment on the Red Planet too hostile for life. There goes my dream of condo ownership on Cydonia.
- In his new book, Ron Suskind says the White House told the CIA to forge a letter from the head of Iraqi intelligence that links Saddam Hussein to al Qaeda. The White House was quick to deny any harmful intentions, saying: “we just wanted to feel what it would be like to have just cause.”
- In actually-important news: Nigel Lythgoe, the man who single-handedly set in motion the collapse of Western civilization when he thrust upon it the unrepentant evil that is American Idol, is leaving the show to pursue other ways of making our precious little time on this earth even more unbearable than it already is.
- New York magazine is suggesting that People, which spent $14 million on pics of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s twin newborns, may have photoshopped a smile onto one of the babies. I’m siding with People on this one: if your parents are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie YOU FUCKING SMILE NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!! Damn ungrateful baby.
