While You Were “Working” (August 4th, 2008)
Here’s some stuff that happened while you were “working”:
- Christina Applegate has cancer and might die; Bernie Mac has pneumonia and might already be dead; Shia LaBeouf narrowly escapes death but may never masturbate right again. Now Morgan Freeman gets into a wreck and is in serious condition. Looks like the devil is cashing in. Someone should warn Eddie Murphy.
- Saudi Arabia has banned the sale of cats and dogs as pets in its capital, Riyadh, to stop men from using their furry friends to hit on women. It can be 21st century naow plz?
- Not really news but: did you know the Barbie doll has more than 80 careers? Meanwhile you’re half-assing your 1.
- Playgirl, the female-targeting equivalent of Playboy, will stop printing and go web-only after November. This is obviously a winning strategy, because if the internet needs anything, it’s more porn. (No, seriously. Bring on the porn.)
